No matter how hard you try to move with intention, there are always things out of our control. A reviewer may have had bad coffee when they reviewed your application and that soured their palate for all prospective candidates that morning. You may not have learned about an opportunity until after the deadline has passed. Someone may reach out to ask you to do something you’d never considered and you’re forced to consider an alternative pathway. Or maybe a family member experiences an unexpected illness, and you need to take time off work.
September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month. When my mom was diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer in 2022, my family navigated an extended period of uncertainty. Once my family came out on the other side, we all were all changed in very different ways.* Today my mom lives with cancer, which is managed by a wonderful medical team and she works to raise awareness through mentorship programs, volunteering, and sharing her story.
In the moment, I did my best to not let projects (paid/unpaid) fall off my plate or drop below my standard of quality, but they inevitably did to various degrees. Everything was a bit hazy making it hard to focus. I was forced to realize that I did not have the capacity to work as I normally did. It was tough to not feel like I was letting down myself and others.
Preservation work can become all consuming, but being a part of my mom’s journey with cancer forced me to recalibrate and realize I'm not a preservation robot. I’ve become a bit gentler with myself, which was necessary and I’d venture to guess many of you are like me - your own worst critique. Now, I can accept that the detours and roadblocks (of all sizes) on my pathway do not in fact put me behind in the pursuit of my goals. Instead they offer lived experiences that inevitably assist in my ability to shape a values based calendar and develop multiple strategies to achieve benchmarks that support the larger goals. These experiences have improved my ability to communicate, helped develop my volunteer assessment process, and increased my determination to reapply for/pursue opportunities. Fundamentally. these detours have improved my work.
We are all humans, we will all experience set backs, so let’s remember LL Cool J’s wise words that “Dreams Don’t Have Deadlines.” Let’s remember to move with intention, so that we can see and/or carve the different pathways that have space for rest, recharging, recalibrating - during the good times and the difficult times.
*My family’s journey is not unique, many of us are forced to navigate personal or familial medical emergencies, while striving to meet professional expectations. If you ever need to talk, I am here to listen.